Chat-On-A-Bench Reflections
Photo by Tiago Felipe Ferreira
October 2023
The Chats-On-A-Bench are informal. We start with a small-group breakout session to say hello, what’s happening in your life that’s related to timebanking? Back together as a whole group, we may reflect on the five core values, share stories about timebanking action, or raise general questions and ideas relating to timebanking. Whatever is on people's minds.
The Core Value of Respect
This core value asks us to respect people for where they are, not where we want them to be.
This question was highlighted by an attendee: What do we do when some timebank members don’t have the social skills to give respect to others? Do we allow them to act disrespectfully to others? To leave them out of the conversation would be disrespectful. Are we stuck in a conundrum?
In response, we got a couple of stories: one emphasized story-sharing as the door to mutual understanding, and the other emphasized being clear about boundaries, rules, and consequences.
Our attendees offered some helpful insights and their own stories about respect. “The Human Library” tool is a useful way to break down barriers and introduce respect. One shared that “The Human Library” hosts events where you borrow a human and listen to their life stories and perspectives.
A timebank member with anti-immigrant views joined a Human Library story-share session and listened to an immigrant member’s story. He understood then that that member was more than just a stereotype or a statistic – he was a real person! But even more, he was a real person who shared his passion for fishing. They agreed to go fishing together, had a great time, and became friends. Reference: https://humanlibrary.org/
One suggestion was to provide clear boundaries, rules, and clear consequences - which should apply to everyone.
A timebank with some members who experience mental illness found it necessary to lay out super-clear guidelines about what is acceptable behavior – and the consequences for acting in ways that crossed the boundary. An example: Turning up to a potluck drunk is crossing the line, and if that rule is broken, then the person will not be denied food, but will have to eat alone in a different space and will not be permitted to share in the social activities with other members. A member with a drinking problem does occasionally turn up drunk. When the rules are applied, he accepts them, and the other members accept that he accepts them. This abiding by the rules is a mark of respect by and for all.
Sharing of timebank action and how to include others into timebanking
In their opening breakout group, Meg and Paul talked about wanting to include more young people in their timebanks. Paul shared that he’s introduced timebanking to his local school. He listed just 8 different kinds of exchanges to keep things clear and simple. He’s signed up some 55 members, and the most popular exchange at the moment is pet-sitting.
Is there proof we can offer funders and others that timebanking builds community?
Peter brought up a great question about how we can provide proof for funders and others that timebanking builds community. Peter is trying to get skeptical church groups to try timebanking.
The general agreement on the call seemed to be that numbers -- like how many exchanges there are in the timebank -- can show how much the timebank brings people together, and that’s important. However, stories that show how people feel differently about their community, and how they come together differently through their engagement in timebanking are essential too. Numbers provide proof of the things that are counted, but this is not enough; stories provide meaning and they change people’s opinions.
To end: A big thank you to all who came for a conversation that raised some really important questions!
